Are you watching President Obama's State of the Union? If not, you should! Use this as an opportunity to hone in on some language arts skills, too. Remember, speeches are written first. I bet you can apply all the concepts of good writing to the speech.
What was the focus of the speech ? How did the President support himself? Did he use strong, detailed ideas to back up the central idea of his address? Did anything in particular stand out to you? Why? Can you remember a line or phrase? What made it memorable?
Update:
Did you miss it? You can still respond to this blog. Just read the transcript of President Obama's speech here: State of the Union 2011
The focus of President Obama's State of the Union Speech is mostly about the economy in the United States, and how we need to fix it. It is also about how to help the United States in general. President Obama also talked about education, and acheiving our dreams. For the economy, he suggests a five year freeze on American spending to help fix our debt.
ReplyDeleteThe president supported himself with many real world examples. For example, he wanted the United States to have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world with his program.
Many things stood out to me. For example, after every other sentence, the audience applauded. The audience sometimes even applauded in the middle of a sentence. In addition, he reffered to many people as examples. The people he reffered to are both common people that watched the speech on TV, and important people who are in the audience.
A line that I liked is "But we need to think bigger." This means that America is one of the biggest nations in the world, and that we need to expand and shine brightly.
Yuval S.
Period 3
Many different topics were covered in President Obama's State of the Union speech. I believe that one of the main ideas, however, was that we are trying to move away from the government of the past and create a new government that is not only affordable, but also competent and open.
ReplyDeleteThe President gave a lot of support for this. He talked about how America's economy is growing again after one of the worst recessions we have seen. He said that more Americans can find a good job. He also mentioned plans to reduce the national debt. He gave a statistic on this. He said that if we are able to freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years, we could reduce the deficit by more than $400 billion over the next decade. This could reduce health care costs, which was also a large problem.
He used many quotes throughout his speech and also some examples. One example was the story of Brandon Fisher, who started a company called Center Rock. One day, he saw on the news the story of the Chilean miners. Thus, he decided his company could help. They created the drilling equipment that rescued the Chilean miners. This proved that anything was possible.
Another topic Obama spoke about was foreign affairs. For example, he said that many American troops have left Iraq, and they are trying to make peace with the Iraqi people. They are also fighting al Qaeda and the Taliban.
One phrase that was interesting was when President Obama said, "instead of re-fighting the battles of the last two years, let's fix what needs fixing and move forward."
This was memorable because I believe it captured the general idea of the speech.
I want you guys to focus on what elements of the writing made this a good speech. Could elements have been better?
ReplyDeleteIn both Laurence and Yuval's comments, I noticed that they mentioned the President's use of specific examples to help support the main points of his speech. How can you take this information and apply it to your own writing?
I think that the main reason Obama's speech got it's point across is because for every statement that he made, he had examples. This remains true in writing any essay, as long as there is sustense behind points or arguments; they are valid.
ReplyDeleteAnother trait of good writing that I noticed in Obama's speech was entence fluency. Everything seemed to flow smoothly. This helps the speech, an can help an essay, by keeping the reader, or the audience, focused on the point being made and not how choppy the writing is.
Francisco Rivera pd. 5
I think Obama's speech was about Winning the future. The president was mentioned how he thought the United States should go out and win the future. Mr. Obama talked about the economy, education, health care, and infrastructure. Somethings the president said that stood out for me were "The future is not a gift, it is an achievement," He also stated "We are the nation that put cars in driveways and computers in offices; the nation of Edison and the Wright brothers; of Google and Facebook. In America, innovation doesn't just change our lives. It's how we make a living." The president tried to emphasize that we are one nation, and that Republicans and Democrats should work together and help our nation win the future.Obama wants our nation to again become a leader in everything possible like he said, "We need to out-innovate, out-educate, and out-build the rest of the world." (Que the footage of the Chinese president.CNN has a sense of humor.) Fundamentally, Obama wants the U.S to come together and overcome the new challenges created by the changing world.
ReplyDeleteThe speech also had greats elements of writing. As Yuval and Lawrence stated Obama had many examples of how we can win the future. Obama also quoted various people as a way to support his ideas. Obama's support was very strong and did back up his beliefs. This could be applied to writing by stating examples and how they support the ideas that the writing is trying to get across to the reader, or listener.
When President Obama was delivering his speech, I noticed that he kept his sentences short and simple. This helped make his topics very clear. However, that didn't make his speech sound choppy. It was fluent, and when he read it out loud, there was barely a diference between sentence to sentence.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, he also worded it so that his speech wouldn't affend anybody, including the Republicans. Therefore, the Republicans that are completely against Obama did not have anything against him with his speech.
Yuval S.
Period 3
The main focus of Obama's speech was the US economy. While it was an excellent speech and did get the point across I did not agree with what he said. He wants to raise taxes on the millionaires and billionaires. I don't agree with this because those people worked for that money. Take Bill Gates for example, while he was not poor before he invented Microsoft he was not rich. He invented a product that changed everybody's lives. Why should we take away his hard earned money to feed homeless drug addicts? On top of that he has given nearly half of his fortune to charity, the government should not have the right to steal his hard earned money.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna go off on a rant here, but why do we care about that homeless guy who has the great voice? He was homeless because of his actions. He was an alcoholic, a junky, a robber, and had nearly a dozen children he did not take care of. he is a bad man!!!
Back on rack here. Obama's speech was a good one, but like most presidents he did not write it. Most of the credit for that work should be given to whoever the speech write is. I don't think Obama should be given credit for the contents of the speech.
People, PLEASE try to view the speech from both a positive and a negative angle.
Tyler Levinson Period 6
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePresident Obamas speeck started with a hook about the sputnik. then he had a tie in to the topic, and then he finished with a thesis statement. His thesis statement was ," We'll invest in biomedical research, information technology, and especially clean energy technology – an investment that will strengthen our security, protect our planet, and create countless new jobs for our people."
ReplyDeleteAlso he used different sentence formulas such as Lb, S, and A, B, conj. C. He also used quotes as examples as well as historic examples such as sputnik and the great depression.
He also used transitions and justifiers for his topics.
I could use these elements in my writing. I can stard my essays with great hooks to draw the reader in as well as different sentence formulas to keep the reader intrested. I already use transitions and justifiers to begin and end paragraphs.
All in all, his speach was really good because of all of the support that he used.
Danielle May
L.A. Period 3
Hi Mrs. Powers,
ReplyDeleteI think the focus of President Obama's State of the Union speech was working together, job creation, and bipartisanship legislation. The President supported himself by mentioning how the unemployment rate has dropped since some of the measures he had put in place worked. He used strong supporting ideas such as the depression we were seeing dropped, and now we are slowly recovering from bad economic times. He also mentioned general motors, and that the government bail out has restructured. The quote by Robert Kennedy that he quoted stood out to me and was memorable because it explained how we had to take a part in helping our country succeed, and that its success doesn't just come to us. The quote was, "The future is not a gift. It is an achievement."
Amanda Bahamonde
Period 3
Obama is an extremely charismatic speaker - I was watching the State of the Union speech with a friend, and she was gushing over the fact that Obama's speech (which clocked a mere 61 minutes in length)completely changed her political standpoint. Regardless of political opinion, it cannot be denied that President Obama has the capability of delivering speeches with unrivaled sprezzatura, and last night's speech was no exception.
ReplyDeleteI think the president's silver tongue is based widely on his style (or "voice," in an essay's case.) Something about it gives off the message of hope and optimism that was promised in his campaign - his mentions of the now-flourishing economy, of the advances in Green Technology, of the withering (though lingering) terrorist threat indicated the United states was on the rebound. He also seemed to be gently admonishing the public with talk of the China, Korea, and the Netherlands all surpassing American students in academics.
Obama touched on several issues - security, the rebounding economy, and, most significantly, education. His focus never shifted to the elephant in the room - unemployment, this year's hot botton issue. As you can imagine, the Right is pouncing on the fact. President Obama failed to deliver on this particular aspect - if this was an essay, Obama's "6" would probably be downsized to a "5" or a "4" -maybe even a "3" - for side-stepping the issue that is currently the nucleaus of his criticism.
Obama's style contributes to his eloquence, but so does his support. His speech was speckled with quotes, personal examples, and the occassion salmon joke (har, har). I agree with Amanda, the Robert Kennedy quote ("The future is not a gift. It is an achievement.") stood out in my mind because it encompassed the whole message of his speech: the economy, education, security, and overall stability of our nation is a direct ratio of our efforts.
Besides the quotes, I found inspiration in his tales of everyday Americans that thrust themselves in the global market or trying to survive. Its honestly intriguing how the president took his time to pay attribution to the everyman American - such words make it to the hearts of those on left, right, and in between.
Lisa B.
period 4
Oh, and did anyone notice how the two "losers" John Kerry and John McCain sat next to each other during the speech (in CNN, the camera often panned to the Senator to see his reaction.)? Just an observation.
Camille D., Period 5
ReplyDeleteObama's speech was split into two main parts: unity and economy. The parties were mixed in the audience trying to show the unity which upset many people, like always with big changes, but the idea is for the best to help us work together and grow as a united nation. I think Obama has many great ideas. The ideas that stood out the most were :taking away the "don't ask, don't tell" rule in the military and increasing research and development. After he mentioned the removing of the "don't ask, don't tell" rule, the camera went to people in the military, who seemed like they didn't enjoy the idea. I don't really understand how that rule was made! Like Obama said, it shouldn't matter who people love in the military. It doesn't affect how they fight for us in any way! I'm very happy to find its not going to exist anymore. Additionally, he said he was going to invest and increase research and development to have another "sputnik moment". I found this very interesting. He's cutting taxpayer dollars for oil companies to get more and new energy resources. What if we find a cheaper resource better for the environment? Just thinking about the endless possibilities gets me excited for whats in store for the future!
I noticed people clapped a lot, either because people really like his ideas or just clap because they felt like they had to.
He stressed deeply in his speech that he wanted to move on as a united country. One quote that stood out was we should stop battling and "fix what needs fixing and move foreword".
I don't think there were many elements he should've changed. His speech was clear in what he wanted, the main problems and such, and he even tried to lighten it up with a few jokes which should be like our essays when you add figurative language and get rid of those unneccesary details that arent really related to the rest of the essay.
You can apply examples like Obama to your writing.He had examples to support everything he said. He states what hes planning such as freezing annual domestic funding and gives statistics like "if we freeze annual domestic funding for the next five years we could reduce the deficit by 400 billion dollars.
Obama is a eloquent speaker. He made me believe in what he was saying and continued to keep me enthusiastic about our future. This is yet another area that's important in our writing. We should keep the reader interested and have our essay flow.
Hello, Mrs. Powers! And a hi to her eighth graders that are nowhere near as cool as we were last year.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to just drop by and give an overview of Obama's speech from a Republican's perspective.
Now, since Obama is such a charismatic speaker, it seems like everything he says is the word of God. But this, however, is not the case. Although he did stay close to the middle throughout most of the speech, he showed flashes of extreme liberalism, and this is concerning. He consistently brought up bipartisanship, but both sides will NOT work together until we have a president who is willing to implement some "conservative laws." He brought up raising taxes for the richest 2% of Americans, but this is completely unfair. Those people worked for their money, and what people fail to realize is that the upper 2% of Americans pay the majority of taxes as it is. Due to the fact that they make more money, they have to pay more, and if the government decides to make them pay an even greater amount, then they might decide to "take their talents" to another country.
Furthermore, Obama mentioned innovation a lot. This is definitely the way to go, but the government doesn't have the money to do this. So, the only way to innovate would be to take from conservative ideas and implement a more limited government.
All in all, I feel like Obama hit major, important points, but he promised things that he probably will NOT be able to achieve. Additionally, for someone who presents himself as in the middle, he was leaning a little to much to the liberals.
I hope you enjoyed my insight.
Josh Ulino
Former Student
Wow! President Obama certainly has a way of projecting his ideas in a very eloquent manner. Although his speech covered many important points, the essential idea and atmosphere I got from it was of American integrity and a newfound hope.
ReplyDeleteI could feel the sense of pride and optimism throughout the speech. One thing that I really appreciated from the speech was the fluency. There was a lot of support throughout it and the support varied. Some were personal stories, others were statistics, a couple quotations, and there was plenty in between.
A great point the President went through was the significance of our education. The nation's success is in the hands of the new generation of kids. America is a proud country where our colleges are some of the best in the world. We do not want to lag behind compared to other countries. He mentions how countries such as China focus on mathematics and science and how their technology is advancing because of that.
Another great point that I admired to be mentioned was clean energy technology. Protecting our planet, in my opinion, should always be one of our top priorities.
A phrase that Mr. Obama used that stood our for me was, "Our destiny remains our choice." We, the people, determine our future. Working hard and striving for success will boost our country. Our country just reflects the people and how hard we work. It's our choice.
-Courtney E. pd 3
Great feedback, guys. I wonder, how can you model the strong aspects of the President's speech in your own writing?
ReplyDeleteKnowledge is the ultimate tool. It is a shame to see so many students not using it.
ReplyDeleteTyler Levinson Period 6
I fell that neerly everybody that commented on this posted has been viewing everything the president said from one point of view: theirs. Young people often get what they believe from their parents, and know where we live I am not surprised by the ammount of Liberal views expressed in the posts. I beg you all to read Josh U's post and realize that you need to revise your views. Lower taxes and smaller government are the way to go, after all bigger is not always better.
ReplyDeleteTyler Levinson Period 6
P.S.
Fell free to comment on my posts.
Craig,
ReplyDeletePLEASE proofread. While what you have to say may actually be interesting and profound, the silly mistakes take away from your message. Can you imagine if a CEO or the President wrote or spoke that way? What kind of impression would you have of a person in a powerful position who didn't bother to proofread and edit?
PLEASE.
I think that Obama made his points very clear in his speech and he also made an effort to grab my attention. Obama is a very charismatic speaker and he is very good at letting people know what he wants to change, and what he wants to keep the same. In this State of the Union speech he kept a very good attitude and felt that we are in good shape, but at the same time there is lots of things he would like to change about the USA.
ReplyDeleteBrett Bailey Per. 6
Brett - You need to be more specific.
ReplyDeleteI felt that one of the major focuses of Preident Obama's State of the Union speech was on education. This made a specific impact to me because I realize that we are quite lucky to have such great education. Also, Obama was bringing up the point that our education systems are very good, frequently. Obama also spoke about how we are competing a lot with opposing nations. He stated that we are sending well educated people out of our country to go home and work against America. This was interesting to me. I noticed that when we do send foreigners away, they go home and work aggainst us. If America let them stay, these people could be working for America and not against us. One of the last things that I noticed was that Obama gave us a goal. In about 20 years, we would be using all natural energy sources for everything. This was such an ambitious goal that it spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteKevin Scott Period 5
Craig - whether or not one agrees with Obama on political aspects, no can truly deny the fact he was endowed with extraordinary speaking skills. It can also be said Sarah Palin gives speeches with a certain rustic appeal, and her charisma (disregarding her recent "blood libel" comments) has attracted many people to her anti-leftist crusades.
ReplyDeleteDissecting the State of the Union speech for its positive attributes really has no liberal bias. We're just looking at the ways we can incorporate his methods into our essays, not to force our political views on others.
Lisa B.
per. 4
Well said, Lisa. This post is not about the politics. It is about the writing. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe are analyzing the speech as a piece of writing not as a forum for discussing politics.
Another person who was regarded as a phenomenal public speaker is Adolf Hitler. Most people would vehemently disagree with his message; however, there is no doubt that he was regarded as a person who could hold the attention of a crowd with his speeches. Alternately, Martin Luther King, Jr. also swayed masses with his words and message.
Bottom line: Whether we agree with the underlying themes or not, these people are great writers. Their words had enough power to make others follow them.
When you are writing, what can you take from them to make your own message heard?
Lisa- I don't force my opinion on others, I enlighten them.
ReplyDeleteTyler Levinson Perion 6
Craig - Call it what you like. ;~)
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. I honestly mean no offense by what I'm writing.
Lisa B.
Per. 4
I think that the main point of this speech is the main idea of this speech is how the president is supposed to make this country better and how he is going to make the plans that he has work. Also how far America is in achieving these goals and what we are going to do in order to finish them.
ReplyDeleteAllison Blake period 3
All I can say is: President Obama sure knows how to give a speech! Countless times I saw the audience at its feet, applauding.
ReplyDeleteTo me, the main focus would definitely be education. Obama used a lot of statistics, personal examples, and I even thought I heard a quote or two in there! America has some of the best colleges/universities in the world, but what good will that do if our next generation doesn't take advantage of all their available resources? America's future is pretty much in our, the younger generation's hands! (Talk about a heavy burden!) Recently, our education systems have started to lag a bit, what with all the downsizing, budget cuts, etc. But, if we want to be # 1 in education, we will have to work for it, and work HARD at that. I think these ideas were extremely powerful and inspirational. Not to mention motivational.
One phrase that he used that really inspired me was,"Our destiny remains our choice." That just hit home with me. Coming from a family of accountants, professors and policemen, I sometimes feel that me wanting to be a photographer is like a small fish, swimming against the tide of a mighty river. But with this quote, I realized that no matter how much my uncle encourages me to become some kind of brain surgeon, it is MY choice in the end. Who I want to be, and the kind of life that I will live. Super inspirational! :)
Mira Merchant
Period 3
Okay, seeing as all the hard work has already been done for me, I think I can finally comment on this post. :S I would write something about the political aspect of it all, but I can't delve into that due to the rough patch of writer's block I hit a couple days back and my inability to get out of it. :( As for the connection to writing concept, I think that's been sufficiently covered.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I was reading the transcript of the speech three days ago, and I ran across this part, "I believe we can. I believe we must. That's what the people who sent us here expect of us." Now, when I read that and noticed that it rhymed, a silly idea passed through my head. What if we had Eminem give the State of the Union speech each year? The current president would tell Eminem what he wanted the speech to cover and whether to say it in a positive or negative way, and then the best rapper alive would write the speech. That would be what the cool kids consider "dope". (Does anyone still say that?) I can just picture the guy, up on stage, spitting out his rhymes as all the Congressmen/women clap their hands in time to the beat. That would just make my life...
And I bet more people who are uninterested in politics would turn their televisions on to actually listen to the speech. Also, it would be easier to remember what points were covered since people can remember passages of text more easily when they are in a lyrical format. Then again, I bet all the old (excuse me, elderly) people wouldn't appreciate the rapping (and probably cursing) very much. :P
@Craig
Where exactly did you get the idea that Obama doesn’t write his own speeches? I’m not exactly inclined to believe you until you provide a reliable source from which you got your information. Also, I agree with you on the principle that most kids’ political views are nonsense because they are just spouting the same things as they’ve heard elsewhere (yes, mostly from their parents). However, you seem to to tell us to look at things from your perspective, thus encouraging everyone to parrot the things you say.
Somewhat hypocritical, no?
I thought it was an entertaining speech, even if it was overly-ambitious.
Caterina Golner
Period 2
PS- Could please tell Allison that she should try to comment on what was written before her?
During Obama's speech, he made a point to notice that after the shooting in Tuscon, all of the political parties decided to sit together. He commented on this, saying that "I would also like to work in a bipartisan way," meaning including both parties. It made me smile to know that even though they were politicians and lawyers that they weren't as mean as I thought.
ReplyDeleteSami S. p.3
I thought that Obama's speech was very well written. Even if someone else wrote it fo him. Sometimes I wish someone would write my essays for me as well. Hmmm... Well, getting back to the post, the main subject of Obama's speech was to strengthen our economy,and form a better union as a country, and as a people. Most of his ideas were backed up by actions that he had already done, or planned on doing. He sometimes threw in a quote here or there like: As Robert Kennedy told us, "The future is not a gift. It is an achievement." He also said the good things we have done, and how we can make those even better. I thought his details were very strong; however, I felt that most of his, "supporting details" were examples(haha, just used a s;sc, sentence). One example he talked about was a historical example. He talked about how back then it was much easier to get a job and contrasted it with the job requirements now, and how hard it is to get a job now. In his speesh there were really to sayings that really stood out in my mind. One was: Let's form a better union together. He said this a lot in my perspective. Maybe it just felt like that to me because throughout most of his speech he talked about how everyone needed to be involved with the improvements of America and how we all needed to work together like one huge soccer team or basketball team. The second one that I like was: God Bless a
ReplyDeleteAmerica. I like this because that meant two things. One I could hear the Republican view of the speech for five minutes, and two, most importantly, that meant I could watch George Lopez. Overall though, I felt that the speech was very well written. One thing I did notice though, was that there was a lot of applause. After the speech when I was listening to the opinions of the Republicans, and the news, it was evident that this was the most any audience had ever clapped during a State of the Union Address.
Rachel Newman
pd3
IMPORTANT REMINDER: For credit this quarter, your comments need to reflect the focus of the blog post. In this one, I asked: What was the focus of the speech ? How did the President support himself? Did he use strong, detailed ideas to back up the central idea of his address? Did anything in particular stand out to you? Why? Can you remember a line or phrase? What made it memorable?
ReplyDeleteSOME OF YOU need to a) add more to your response and/or b) respond to the comments before you.
I guess I'm not getting any credit since I didn't completely focus on the connection-to-writing part of this post. :P That's okay; that wasn't my goal in participating in this blog discourse anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteryan g p6
ReplyDeleteWhat was the focus of the speech?
I thought that the three main focuses of this speech were education, newfound hope, and the economy, specifically creating jobs due to inovation.
How did the President support himself? Did he use strong, detailed ideas to back up the central idea of his address?
The President supported himself with many details regarding real life representation of his ideas. He mentioned factories in Michigan, the internet, 9/11, Chilean Miners, FaceBook, Google, Space, and renewable energy to back up his ideas.
Did anything in particular stand out to you? Why? Can you remember a line or phrase? What made it memorable?
What stood out to me was the patriotism and nostalgic aspects of the speech. Many times Obama reffered back to times in history where Americans have bounced back from hard times. He also acknowledged people's hard working citizens.
All I have to say to CRAIG is that he is stubborn and ignorant. Although I don't agree that money should be taken away from the rich, who is talking about some drug addict? There are plenty of people who deserve a job and money and don't have it. Your Republican views, obviously learned from your parents shows your lack of intelligence to think for yourself. And yes I would enjoy discussing politics anytime ;)!
What stood out to me
So what DID stand out to you, Ryan?
ReplyDeleteDear My favorite teacher!
ReplyDeleteThe focuses of the speech were education, the future, the economy, and our environment.
The President used real life examples to support his ideas. I noticed that these ideas related to the people that were listening because they clapped after almost every idea he said, or even every example.
A few things i noticed in the speech was his voice and his character. Something about him made the people want to listen and actually understand, and really focus on what he had to say. This stood out to me because he also made me want to hear more about what he had to say and it was fascinating how he used his ways of speech to catch my attention. I can't really put a line or phrase to this, but if you watch the speech you'll know what i'm saying. ;)
You can incorporate the way President Obama uses his voice and character to attract the attention of his listeners. Also, using examples and details that can relate to people is something i can use in my writing as well.
P.S YOU ARE AWESOME!
P.S.S thanks for the 100%
The focus of the speech it seems is always the economy. He also focuses on everyone in Washington to work together. He talks about that our Nation was founded on an idea and that the "idea that each of us deserves the chance to shape our own destiny." That is a great statement. This is what America is all about. The freedom to come up with new inventions. He is very motivating but our economy is still suffering. People are without jobs and the prices of everything like food and gas are continuing to go up. He used a quote from Robert Kennedy to motivate people to get out and do something to make their American dream come true. Period 1, Lexi D.
ReplyDeleteIn President Obama's speech, he used many different sentence structures. Without making them too long he spoke very well and made his speech easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to his fluency, Obama supported every topic with individual examples, making it hard to disagree with what he said. His writing style added to his charisma makes him a great public speaker.
The fact that he can captivate his listeners and relate to them with his patriotism really impresses me. Not many Presidents try to do this, so citizens don't take the points made as seriously.
Overall, his main point was to tell the citizens what the government had to do in order to live up to citizens' standards and hopes.
Katelynn A. Period 3